Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
