we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
