perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
