What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
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