some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
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