the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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