So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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