He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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