bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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