Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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