they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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