Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
