i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
