We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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