Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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