Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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