ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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