am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
