That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Sorry about my life...
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
