He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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