Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
