Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
