No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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