Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
