conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
