My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
