Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
