i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
