Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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