Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
you made out with another girl for some wings
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
