That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
