I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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