Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Just puked most of my soul out..
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