Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
