this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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