Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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