Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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