He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
