he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
