You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
