Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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