He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize