great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
