she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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