They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
