Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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