Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
