Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
