Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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