8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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