So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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