Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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