she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
